The Agony of Defeat

My other fantasy team.

Few things embody the essence of my Mantasy more than the Wu-Tang Clan, and in particular, the song Triumph. Though one might think that I would prefer a Ghostface Killah track, I do not. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Ghostface, but Triumph is more slamming than a Mike Alstott goal line run.

Slamming like Wu-Tang.

Check out these lyrics:

Mediterranean, see y'all, the number one draft pick

Tear down the beat God, then delegate the God to see God

The swift chancellor, Flex the white-gold tarantula

Track truck diesel, play the weed God, substantiala

Max mostly, undivided, then slide in, sickenin' 
Guaranteed, made 'em jump like Rod Strickland 

See how Raekwon did that? See how he mentioned the number one draft pick and then four lines later drops Rod Strickland? Amazing. Sure, the four lines in between are nearly nonsense (I dare anyone to attempt to translate, "Tear down the beat God, then delegate the God to see God."), but he gets where he needs to be and that is what the song Triumph is about. When the underrated U-God has his turn, he mentions the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Sure, he also mentions singing a song from Sing Sing and sipping on Ginseng, but the guy knows what he's saying and this song captures what Mantasy is all about. Waiting for that moment that your team has it in the bag; the moment that all has been settled and you have come out on top: The Triumph.

Mantasies are a mixed bag, just like Rod Strickland.

But what about the other part? What about the defeated? Well, losing is a lonely act and the agony is very real. 

There is usually a moment on Sunday - although occasionally one has to wait until Monday - that the week's matchup is decided. A fourth quarter touchdown during the four o'clock games from Jason Witten that seals the deal for your team is why we play. On the other hand, going into the Sunday night game up twenty points and watching Phillip Rivers drive down the field over and over and over again, steadily closing the gap and easily surpassing your point total is enough to make even the most dedicated owner take a couple of days off. 

The funny thing about losing in fantasy football is the subsequent anger. What is wrong with Brandon Jacobs? He runs like he's scared! Yesterday, I spent forty minutes yelling about the Raiders' defense. "They're so annoying! They suck so much!" I was so worked up that other people in the bar must have thought that I was an Oakland Raiders fan, except that they were winning at the time and no real fan would have been that upset. Fantasy has a funny way of twisting up what it is that we want and to some extent, watching people tangle with their Mantasies is probably like watching Panda Bears wrestle...only far less cute.

What the hell is going through their heads?

The difference between winning and losing can be seen in the difference between the post-fantasy schedule of a winner and a loser.

Winner's Schedule

Sunday: Celebrate potential win by drinking too much.

Monday: Consummate victory by watching Monday Night Football and enjoying some pressure-free football.

Tuesday: Wake up and check the latest positional rankings of your team's players.

Wednesday: Set lineup, read articles, look at match ups, scout opponent, and generally waste time pretending that your players "had a good day of practice."

Thursday - Saturday: Repeatedly check player news and read projections. Adjust lineup incessantly and convince yourself there is such a thing as "team chemistry." 

Sunday morning: Wake up early, get coffee and newspaper, and eagerly await one o'clock games. That Broncos vs. Raiders game has never meant so much.

Loser's Schedule

Sunday: Mourn potential loss by drinking too much.

Monday: Ignore loss (and football in general) by going out to dinner with the girlfriend or abusing your DVR.

Tuesday: Ignore computers altogether. 

Wednesday: Check team, but only to quickly place waiver claims. 

Thursday - Saturday: Reset lineups and attempt to convince yourself that basketball is interesting. Maybe fantasy hockey would be fun.

Sunday morning: Finalize lineup and prepare to do it all over again. You are, after all, still in the playoff hunt.

In the end, this is what you wanted. You hoped to sit back and crush people. Unfortunately, that is what everyone wants - dominance. Whether it be Malcolm Floyd, Arian Foster, Jahvid Best, or any of the other surprise performers, there is just no accounting for losing. It wouldn't be fun without the prospect of defeat, but that does not make it hurt any less. As GZA puts it in Triumph: "War of the masses, the outcome disastrous...Another heart is torn as close ones mourn." I have a feeling that the Killer Bees are well-versed in the slings of fantasy football. Their passionate lyrics could only have been produced artists that are very in touch with the ups and downs of their Mantasies.

Big Jets vs. Vikings Monday Night Game tonight. Good luck to all who are invested.

Jenn Sterger is part of Monday Night's Mantasy.
I'm ready for some...uh, football.