False Start

Easy to make fun of, hard to hate. Like this blog.

"Omaha! Omaha!"

Look at the fucking clock, Eli. Enough with the phony man voice and the numbers and letters, there is nothing you can say that will stop Trent Cole from eating your ass and now the play clock has expired. It's first and fifteen. Nice work.

But that's no Mantasy of mine.

True, Eli Manning has provided me with much pleasure - a Super Bowl victory - but that is not what this is about. This here is about the rabbit hole, the hazing of one's self, the having one more, the not being a pussy, the Napoleon Complex, the Hulk fists, Erin Andrews, the penis extension, the job sucking, the girlfriend being a whore, Drazen Petrovic, truck sticks, Derek Trucks, Derrick Thomas, Isiah Thomas, Thomas' English Muffins, muffin tops, Topps trading cards, the Cards quarterback situation, Mike the Situation, Mike and Mike in the Morning, and finally, Mike Sabolinski.

This is my Mantasy. It is your Mantasy. It is our Mantasy. And it is about time that someone document the shit out of it. It is first and fifteen - no more Omaha, time to run it up the gut.