The Week 4 lineups are not yet finalized for these two teams, but their teams have some interesting connections and you can bet all the money in your bank account that I am about to detail them here, in the latest edition of It Sounded Like Two Guys Having Sex.
The main points of interest in this matchup center around a high volume of players on two teams - The Panthers of Carolina and The Cardinals of Arizona.
As recently as three days ago, I was higher on Jonathan Stewart than Randy Moss driving to get pizza. Before week 1, I was higher on Jonathan Stewart than Ricky Willams at a planetarium laser show set to classic rock. Nowadays, I just don't know. People swore up and down that there would be enough bounty for both Panther running backs to get rich, but then it turned out that they are the NFL equivalent of the jay walking law. I'm not even sure what that means, but if you went to a small liberal arts college in New England, then I know you've been trained in the art of connecting such things. The point is that against the Saints, Jonathan Stewart just is not a good start. Sure, if he puts a touchdown in, he's okay, but if not, we could be looking at some real flaccidity from a key position as the Panthers play catch-up all day and dump the ball to Mike Goodson.
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| "Boom pow! I love Jonathan Stewart! Now gimme some pizza..." |
So Stewart may not be in the Jelly Beans lineup, but should DeAngelo Williams be in the Dangle lineup? Hell yeah. He is one of those backs I'm not sitting at all - talented and well-fed. He certainly isn't in line for a career day, but guys like Williams can always go off. Now, if Stewart sits, why discuss the fact that these two teams have the Panther running back tandem?
I'm going to tell you, of course.
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| He's also stiffing DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart owners. |
After a brief examination of the Milk Steak and Jelly Beans, there is no doubt that Mendenhall and McFadden start, and now assuming that Stewart sits, Beanie Wells gets his first nod of the year. Wells looked good last week and should have an even greater role in the upcoming game against San Diego. Clearly, Rick has noticed this trend and sent Officer Hightower back to a reserve role, but even a Beanie Wells start develops ties between the two owners. Suddenly, the Arizona situation in real life will tip carries or receptions for Sabo's Wells or Rick's Larry Fitzgerald. Sure, they will both get touches, but if San Diego comes out angry and crushes Arizona early, here's saying that Fitz will pop harder than a sebaceous cyst.
The final tie lies in the Houston/Oakland game and Matty Schaub against Darren McFadden. Seeing as Run-DMC is a part of the passing game, I doubt that even an early Houston lead will render the former collegiate star obsolete, but it would reduce Schaub's production, as they would likely be happy to lean on the run. Either way, I admit that this is a fleeting issue - and one that is far less interesting than the chain of Carolina and Arizona associations - but it feels like these types of opposing relationships between teams arise every week.
Regardless, this is a juicy week for the two sides. Sabo is hungry to be at 2-2 and who wouldn't be ecstatic starting off 3-1, as Rick very well might. Things are tight in The Mantasy League and all of these details end up factoring into the eventual playoff picture. Here, take a look:
| DIVISION 1 | |||||
| TEAM | W | L | T | PCT | GB |
| Debbie Does Dallas Clark | 2 | 1 | 0 | .667 | -- |
| Gym, Tan, Smoosh | 2 | 1 | 0 | .667 | -- |
| Do Your Balls Dangle Low? | 2 | 1 | 0 | .667 | -- |
| The Ghostface Spiller | 2 | 1 | 0 | .667 | -- |
| Chris Henry's X-Treme Parkour | 2 | 1 | 0 | .667 | -- |
| That's gold, Jerry! Gold!!! | 2 | 1 | 0 | .667 | -- |
| The Grundles | 1 | 2 | 0 | .333 | 1 |
| Milk Steak and Jelly Beans | 1 | 2 | 0 | .333 | 1 |
| Maurice Jones-Jew | 1 | 2 | 0 | .333 | 1 |
| Bush...Bowe-ner ? Um..hopefully | 0 | 3 | 0 | .000 | 2 |
Ninth place is a game out. This is already interesting.
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